You're Not in Trouble

‘A compassionate, practical guide for navigating ADHD in all kinds of relationships – from family to friendship to work’ – Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author

'An empowering self-coaching guide to help ADHDers understand, repair and build healthy relationships - with friends, romantic partners, family and at work' - from ADHD coach Kristen Carder, host of the I Have ADHD podcast and founder of FOCUSED

When you have a neurodivergent brain, it can be hard to connect with the people closest to you.

There are rules that everyone else seems to know and follow that don’t come easily to you. Instead of feeling secure and grounded, you move through your relationships feeling like you’re always in trouble.

This book provides a solution. In You’re Not in Trouble, Kristen Carder explores how ADHD can shape the five most prominent relationship structures in our lives: friendships, work relationships, romantic partnerships, parent-child relationships and family-of-origin relationships.

Armed with this insight, you can begin to build relationships that feel safe, steady and genuinely connected. You’ll have the practical tools to repair what has been strained or dysfunctional, and improve the relationships that matter most to you. You’ll learn how to:
Regulate your emotionsPrioritise your relationshipsUnderstand and communicate your needsUnderstand rejection sensitivity and how to soothe itCultivate connection with yourself and others
This is a gentle journey into connection, without the tired neurotypical advice that never quite fits your ADHD brain. Instead, Kristen guides you through a trauma-informed framework for recognising safety, repairing rupture, setting boundaries and being good enough in the relationships that shape your life.