Never the Twain

The story

Never the Twain is a British sitcom that ran for eleven series from 7 September 1981 to 9 October 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner, Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell and John Kane.

It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden as rival antique dealers, and also starred Derek Deadman, Zara Nutley, Robin Kermode, Tacy Kneale, Julia Watson, Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner and Maria Charles.

The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.

The seasons

Season 1 Season 1 1981 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Sept. 7, 1981

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 2 Season 2 1982 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Sept. 7, 1982

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 3 Season 3 1983 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Oct. 10, 1983

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 4 Season 4 1984 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Nov. 8, 1984

A synopsis is not available yet.

See all seasons (11)

Season 5 Season 5 1986 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Jan. 8, 1986

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 6 Season 6 1987 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Jan. 15, 1987

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 7 Season 7 1988 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Jan. 27, 1988

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 8 Season 8 1988 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Oct. 24, 1988

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 9 Season 9 1989 · 7 episodes Season details＋

Sept. 6, 1989

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 10 Season 10 1990 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Sept. 5, 1990

A synopsis is not available yet.

Season 11 Season 11 1991 · 6 episodes Season details＋

Sept. 4, 1991

A synopsis is not available yet.

Cast

D Donald SindenSimon Peel W Windsor DaviesOliver Smallbridge T Teddy TurnerBanks D Derek DeadmanRingo M Maria CharlesMrs. Sadler · Mrs Sadler Z Zara NutleyAunt Eleanor R Robin KermodeDavid Peel J Julia WatsonLyn Peel H Honor BlackmanVeronica Barton T Tacy KnealeLyn Peel C Christopher MorrisDavid Peel T Ted ValentineBiffin

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J Jeremy Sinden2nd Policeman · Doctor C Cass AllenMrs Grieves · Mrs. Grieves M Margaret CourtenayLady Deveraux J John CarlinMr Neville · Mr Fortescue P Pamela WatlingCustomer H Helene HuntTrixie · Louise G Gabrielle DrakeCaroline Montague D Donald EcclesWilkins · Wilkins the Butler C Charles MorganClaggit · Claggit the Chauffeur S Sydney ArnoldDerwent the Gardener · Derwent K Ken BarkerPoliceman · Snowy E Eric BristowEric Bristow R Robert RaglanTax Inspector B Betty AlbergeCustomer S Shirley Anne FieldStephanie J John SavidentMr. Wilde G Georgine AndersonSybil Wainwright M Michael StaintonPolice Sergeant A Adam WidePoliceman N Natasha GrayReceptionist E Elizabeth BensonMaggie Hobson F Frank VincentAuctioneer C Clive CarterWaiter J Judith AnthonyBarmaid J Joan HarsantHousekeeper P Paul McDowellDet. Sgt. Talbot G Geoffrey DavionMr. Harris R Russell WatersCustomer K Ken HalliwellWilkins K Kim TaylforthShirley L Lee RichardsWaitress P Peter Gates-FlemingTerry R Roy HerrickVicar B Bryan ColemanMajor P Peter DennisVicar R Renu SetnaMr. Khan J Johnnie WadeDelivery Man A Anna QuayleIsadora Beecham D Dorothea PhillipsMrs Freeman B Barbara RosenblatMrs Hardy A Aimée DelamainMiss Barnes P Prunella ScalesSusan Peel D Daphne OxenfordMrs Scott R Raymond BrodyWaiter H Hilary CraneCustomer R Rhoda LewisBethan C Cameron MillerCustomer P Patsy RowlandsPamela Davenport M Michael RedfernFred Littlewood E Elaine AshleyLisa P Patsy SmartMrs.Piggit J Joanna HorlockAerobic Annie S Sylvia SachsLady in bar S Steve EmersonMan in bar W William LawfordWaiter A Anita JacksonGirl S Susie SilveyGirl S Sharon MorganMyfanwy S Sheila GillWaitress T Tracey BoothKatarina Hartshorn(voice) W Wendy SchoemanCustomer G Gillian BevanLorraine T Tom WattDuane G Gordon PetersAlex A Alexandra DaviesGemma L Leo DolanPostman S Sally Grace(voice) B Barbara MurrayJanis Hunter